Since my visit to Ebay and subsequent post about some of the crap* you find on there, search engines are now sending people this way for information on said devices. Et voila:
I am an authority on all things douche
So, here’s the low down for all you peeps with inquiring minds.
How Stuff Werks!
Search query: how crosshairz work
Answer: they show you where the centre of your screen is. But in order to use them you first have to work out where the centre of your screen is. Once you know where the centre of your screen is you’ll find that your don’t need your crosshairz any more (or at all).
Pro tip: To find the centre of your screen first measure from top to bottom, half that figure to get halfway vertical. Measure from left to right, half that figure to get halfway horizontal. Where those two figures meet is the centre of your screen.
Incidental information: Sticking random sticky stuff to the centre of your screen to aid aiming has been around for as long as first person shooters. Back in the day (before Crosshairz) the method of choice was felt tip pen, some tape, or a bit of Blu-Tac. But in reality it is a pointless exercise as whatever you use ends up obscuring what you are supposed to be aiming at.
Search query: ebay switch lag game
Answer: A lag switch sits between your PC or games console and your router/internet connection. When you flick the switch it interrupts ALL communication between the devices. Does it work? If by ‘work’ you mean stops your connection, then yes it works. But without a controller to regulate the amount of lag you’ll encounter Host Migration (if you’re host) or the lobby screen if you’re not. Which is great as it self terminates cheats.
Pro Tip: If you’re going to search for an item on Ebay – try going to Ebay and using the Ebay search rather than a search engine….
Incidental information: If you’re willing to pay for a device to help you cheat on a game then you must be utterly pathetic at said game. Instead of wasting your cash in an attempt to become an uber-douche why not hop on the forums and ask for some tips, or have a look at gameplay videos on YouTube. If you have to cheat to win you’re only cheating yourself – no one likes a cheat, and you will get found out.
If either of these answers saved you the purchase cost of these items, then consider donating the money you saved to a charity of your choice instead.
This has been a public service announcement on behalf of the Half a Brain Society of Great Britain.
Peas and loaves.
Find me on PSN – evaDlivE
*Crap is a purely subjective term. My definition of crap may be incompatible with your view. Your mileage may vary. May contain nuts. Not machine washable.
YouTube CC, KEN, and Another Hauppage Update
March 5, 2010YouTube CC
I love Google and what they do so don’t take this as Google/YouTube bashing, but their new innovation on YouTube is, as the cool kids say, FAIL. What is it if you haven’t seen it? Closed Captioning – or subtitles to us in the UK. They’re designed for people with hearing difficulties, by printing out the dialogue on screen. I use them, not because I’m hard of hearing, but when you have kids/babies in the house it’s the best way to watch the telly because the kids are asleep, or are awake and playing LET’S MAKE AS MUCH NOISE AS POSSIBLE EVERY TIME SOMEONE SPEAKS ON THE MAGIC BOX.
Anyone who regularly uses subtitles or close captioning will know a couple of things about them:
1 – On pre-recorded programmes and films they are great
2 – They’re not always word for word with what is being said
3 – They are typed by deaf illiterate chimps for live programmes like the news
So here’s the thing, YouTube/Google have implemented a beta Closed Captioning service on the videos, I tried it on mine……hilarity ensued. You’ve got to try it – choose any video at random. It’s like when the first speech recognition came out…..
KEN
In Ken Burton’s QA video he answered the question about what can actually be done about online douchery. Here is his answer:
Obviously it’s not a perfect solution, but this is not a perfect world, otherwise there wouldn’t be any douchebags to mute, thus rendering the KEN campaign moot. What the KEN tag really means is that the person wearing it is not going to indulge douchey bullshit. That’s it.
Hauppage Update
Okay, I know from experience that people who buy on ebay have a real problem with actually reading the title, description or even looking at the pictures, but there is only so much you can do to make it as clear as possible what you are selling. So when I put my surfboard on there I put in MASSIVE RED LETTERS collection only, the P&P section said collection only, so I was surprised when a guy from the other side of the country was the winning bidder and then emailed me to ask how much delivery would be…….yup.
Anyway, hopefully that’s sorted, and as long as he pays and doesn’t mess me about it means that I’m about two thirds of the way to the Hauppage which I will now be getting from Play.com. I can get it for a couple of quid (literally) cheaper from some other supplier, but I’ve never heard of this other company and I have dealt with Play before.
In other news:
Gameplay tonight – Mercenary Team Death Match. Using mainly the blinged FAL with silencer and holographic sight, Spas with grip, claymore, stun grenades, Stopping Power Pro and Ninja Pro. Although on the last game on Underpass I had to change to my Anti-Air class as my team was totally outclassed and had to shoot down the enemy air support to stop it being a complete rout. I was also using my Cheap Freaks on sensitivity 7 and was playing fairly conservatively as I need to get used to this new set up.
Maps and outcome -
Underpass – Win – 6-2
Karachi – Win – 7-2
Estate – Lose – 6-6 (stupid sniper in the garage)
Underpass (again) – Lose – 6-3
Definitely not beast scores, but apart from Estate I think I upheld my Two Commandments fairly well.
Peas and loaves.
Find me on PSN – evaDlivE
Posted in Gaming Opinion, Technologies, youtube | Tagged call of duty, campaign, captioning, closed captioned, cod6, commandments, commentating, commentators, douche, douchebag, ebay, estate, FAL, google, hauppage, holographic, holographic sight, karachi, ken, ken burton, ken campaign, maps, mercenary, mercenary team death match, modern warfare 2, mw2, play.com, sight, silenced, silencer, sniper, subtitles, tdm, team, team death match, underpass, video, voice recognition, youtube | Leave a Comment »