Since my visit to Ebay and subsequent post about some of the crap* you find on there, search engines are now sending people this way for information on said devices. Et voila:
I am an authority on all things douche
So, here’s the low down for all you peeps with inquiring minds.
How Stuff Werks!
Search query: how crosshairz work
Answer: they show you where the centre of your screen is. But in order to use them you first have to work out where the centre of your screen is. Once you know where the centre of your screen is you’ll find that your don’t need your crosshairz any more (or at all).
Pro tip: To find the centre of your screen first measure from top to bottom, half that figure to get halfway vertical. Measure from left to right, half that figure to get halfway horizontal. Where those two figures meet is the centre of your screen.
Incidental information: Sticking random sticky stuff to the centre of your screen to aid aiming has been around for as long as first person shooters. Back in the day (before Crosshairz) the method of choice was felt tip pen, some tape, or a bit of Blu-Tac. But in reality it is a pointless exercise as whatever you use ends up obscuring what you are supposed to be aiming at.
Search query: ebay switch lag game
Answer: A lag switch sits between your PC or games console and your router/internet connection. When you flick the switch it interrupts ALL communication between the devices. Does it work? If by ‘work’ you mean stops your connection, then yes it works. But without a controller to regulate the amount of lag you’ll encounter Host Migration (if you’re host) or the lobby screen if you’re not. Which is great as it self terminates cheats.
Pro Tip: If you’re going to search for an item on Ebay – try going to Ebay and using the Ebay search rather than a search engine….
Incidental information: If you’re willing to pay for a device to help you cheat on a game then you must be utterly pathetic at said game. Instead of wasting your cash in an attempt to become an uber-douche why not hop on the forums and ask for some tips, or have a look at gameplay videos on YouTube. If you have to cheat to win you’re only cheating yourself – no one likes a cheat, and you will get found out.
If either of these answers saved you the purchase cost of these items, then consider donating the money you saved to a charity of your choice instead.
This has been a public service announcement on behalf of the Half a Brain Society of Great Britain.
Peas and loaves.
Find me on PSN – evaDlivE
*Crap is a purely subjective term. My definition of crap may be incompatible with your view. Your mileage may vary. May contain nuts. Not machine washable.
Got Douche?
March 26, 2010There are certain milestones that people can aim for in the pursuit of fame and celebrity. The pinnacle being shot by a crazed stalker who is trying to impress Jodie Foster – you know you’ve arrived when that happens. On the lower scheme of things there’s the balance of fan mail and hate mail.
And then there’s YouTube.
Pretty much anyone can become “YouTube famous” as OnlyUseMeBlade calls it. The Internet, and YouTube in particular can be a fairly nasty old place – practically full to bursting with keyboard warriors waiting to flame the weak. If YouTube was an imaginary place from a film, it would be Mos Eisley Cantina from Star Wars.
You'd better watch it - he's on twenty three block lists!
I got my first taste of YouTube hate on my channel yesterday – and I’m not even YouTube popular. It made me so happy
So here’s the diddley-oh:
I’m old enough, and been around online communities long enough to deal with the denizens of Mos Eisley. In general it doesn’t bother me if someone attempts to be disparaging about me, or what I do as it can usually be turned into something positive – or amusing. But I’m not willing to allow behaviour like that go unchecked. Adding to the block list is the most effective way of dealing with it.
Back on the Topic topic….I’ve put together a quick check list to illustrate the level of stardom you (or I) may have attained at any given time. It’ll be useful for you if you don’t know whether you do need to book in to a hotel under the name of Pendergast, or wear dark glasses to go to McDonald’s:
*Hooray – you’re famous!*
They’re not necessarily in the order in which they’ll actually occur, but the more you can tick off the closer you are to fame. A word of warning though – if you are shot by a crazed stalker, you’re only famous if they are YOUR stalker – cases of mistaken identity don’t count.
Have I missed any steps on the stardom ladder?
Peas and loaves.
Find me on PSN – evaDlivE
Posted in General | Tagged comment, douche, famous, hate, mos eisley, onlyusemeblade, seananners, star wars, youtube | 1 Comment »