So that there’s no confusion, this is not really a review. Now that’s out of the way…
You may have seen the KontrolFreek FPS doo-dahs being pushed by everyone and their dog lately. This sudden ramping up of viral marketing can be put down to one of two things – they’re either the best thing since thumbs, or there’s commission to be made. Or maybe both. – Yes, I’ve linked to them, but it’s a direct link, no referal codes, if you go there I get nothing, if you don’t go there I still get nothing.
But on with the “review”. It’s only fair to point out that I do not have, nor have used the KontrolFreek FPS thumb dingles. I have read what other people including Donncha, SeaNanners, PyroPuncher and others have said about them. What interested me more is not whether or not they turn you into an MLG Pro player overnight, or turn your 26-3 stats into 75-1, I was into the physics of it. If it worked, how does it work.
But before we get into that, allow me to introduce to you the Cheap Freaks FPS*. It retails for no pennies and is available free in most homes.
*Some assembly required.
What’s in the box?
Well…nothing, but here’s what you’ll need:

A child’s drink bottle (or any that has those little plastic caps on top), your console controller, and some blu, or white tack – white is the choice of Pro’s.
Assembly

First, take the clear plastic sealer cap from the top of the bottle. Place it to one side and then drink the contents of the bottle – glug, glug, glug. You can use the bottle for other projects as “Hydrogen Fuel Cells for Beginners” or “Fun With Hydro Rockets”, otherwise recycle it.
Now get your blu-tac, or Pro white-tac and roll out a small sticky sausage to fit the circumference of your analogue stick. If you want to be super precise you can use the following formula to work out how long that is: 2 π r
Once you have your sticky sausage, place it toward the outer edge of the analogue stick. You can now get the plactic cap and place it on top. You may need to adjust the placement, but the good thing about this is that you can place the cap to whatever is comfortable for you. And it will look something like this:


It’s ugly.
Ugly is not the same as useless. As long as something does what I want it to I’m not particularly bothered what it looks like. So does it work?
That really is the big question…..
Well here’s my experience. It didn’t help my k/d. In fact, it was worse during my testing phase of three games. So obviously that makes it useless right? Wrong! My k/d is bad because I’m a bad player, my k/d was worse because I was looking for engagements. To explain a bit more, here’s my conclusion:
My Conclusion
The Cheap Freaks FPS does what it says on the tin in my experience. And if my crappy no-monies version works then the proper KontrolFreeks FPS must also work (but look better). I normally play on a Sensitivity setting of 2 or 3 when playing Call of Duty 6 – Modern Warfare 2. With my Cheap Freak attached I was playing on 7 (I incremented up to that). I could probably have gone higher, but didn’t feel the need as the concept had been proven to me.
They don’t make your game better though. No add-on will ever make you a better player – that is completely down to the individual. What it does is give you more control – especially fine control for tricky aiming. Having come from PC gaming this level of control is something that I have sorely missed. If you’re fine with your controller as it is, then these products will not be of benefit but if, like me, you find your aim is erratic then give it a go – either the Cheap Freaks if you don’t mind looking like a street crazy, or the KontrolFreeks if you like to video yourself playing.
Would I buy the proper version? For $10 yes I probably would because I noticed a significant difference when using my Blue Peter version. But since I live in the UK I’m not likely to buy them as I abhor postage charges, nor the $ to £ conversion that suppliers use (“$10….well, we’ll sell it for £10. No one will ever know…..”)
Hey! What about the Science bit?
M = Fd
Okay. How they work…..it’s all about leverage. The nubbins on the controllers are quite small so the shaft (lever) is short. This means that small movements of the nubbin/lever translate into large inputs. So when you extend the length of the lever the fulcrum/pivot relationship is altered in such a way that you have to move the nubbin more to gain the same amount of relative movement as before.
So when you run around the corner and get surprised, instead of wildly flailing and firing at the sky, your knee jerk reaction becomes a smooth arcing headshot. BOOYAAAH! as JunkYard would say.
Found this helpful? Good. Found it really rubbish? Well, you read this far so it can’t be that bad ;-p
****EDIT/UPDATE****
After playing last night (Friday 5th March 2010) for over an hour the Cheap Freak went out of position due to the white-tac getting warm and through the pressure of use. White-tac or blu-tac is not designed for this purpose so the flaw is not in the material, but in my choice of material. The issue was a lateral shift which hindered my movement control. So I’ve removed the Cheap Freak and reverted to my old sensitivity setting of 3. In this test, for me, the concept of the KontrolFreek FPS has been proven and if I come across some of these for the equivalent of $10 then I’ll be investing in them.
Peas and loaves.
Find me on PSN – evaDlivE


YouTube CC, KEN, and Another Hauppage Update
March 5, 2010YouTube CC
I love Google and what they do so don’t take this as Google/YouTube bashing, but their new innovation on YouTube is, as the cool kids say, FAIL. What is it if you haven’t seen it? Closed Captioning – or subtitles to us in the UK. They’re designed for people with hearing difficulties, by printing out the dialogue on screen. I use them, not because I’m hard of hearing, but when you have kids/babies in the house it’s the best way to watch the telly because the kids are asleep, or are awake and playing LET’S MAKE AS MUCH NOISE AS POSSIBLE EVERY TIME SOMEONE SPEAKS ON THE MAGIC BOX.
Anyone who regularly uses subtitles or close captioning will know a couple of things about them:
1 – On pre-recorded programmes and films they are great
2 – They’re not always word for word with what is being said
3 – They are typed by deaf illiterate chimps for live programmes like the news
So here’s the thing, YouTube/Google have implemented a beta Closed Captioning service on the videos, I tried it on mine……hilarity ensued. You’ve got to try it – choose any video at random. It’s like when the first speech recognition came out…..
KEN
In Ken Burton’s QA video he answered the question about what can actually be done about online douchery. Here is his answer:
Obviously it’s not a perfect solution, but this is not a perfect world, otherwise there wouldn’t be any douchebags to mute, thus rendering the KEN campaign moot. What the KEN tag really means is that the person wearing it is not going to indulge douchey bullshit. That’s it.
Hauppage Update
Okay, I know from experience that people who buy on ebay have a real problem with actually reading the title, description or even looking at the pictures, but there is only so much you can do to make it as clear as possible what you are selling. So when I put my surfboard on there I put in MASSIVE RED LETTERS collection only, the P&P section said collection only, so I was surprised when a guy from the other side of the country was the winning bidder and then emailed me to ask how much delivery would be…….yup.
Anyway, hopefully that’s sorted, and as long as he pays and doesn’t mess me about it means that I’m about two thirds of the way to the Hauppage which I will now be getting from Play.com. I can get it for a couple of quid (literally) cheaper from some other supplier, but I’ve never heard of this other company and I have dealt with Play before.
In other news:
Gameplay tonight – Mercenary Team Death Match. Using mainly the blinged FAL with silencer and holographic sight, Spas with grip, claymore, stun grenades, Stopping Power Pro and Ninja Pro. Although on the last game on Underpass I had to change to my Anti-Air class as my team was totally outclassed and had to shoot down the enemy air support to stop it being a complete rout. I was also using my Cheap Freaks on sensitivity 7 and was playing fairly conservatively as I need to get used to this new set up.
Maps and outcome -
Underpass – Win – 6-2
Karachi – Win – 7-2
Estate – Lose – 6-6 (stupid sniper in the garage)
Underpass (again) – Lose – 6-3
Definitely not beast scores, but apart from Estate I think I upheld my Two Commandments fairly well.
Peas and loaves.
Find me on PSN – evaDlivE
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